Never was a Cornflake Girl…

Archive for the ‘Individuality’ Category

A few weeks ago I went to eat at Pap’s in Ackerman for the first time.  My kids were with me and the place was plastered with Elvis and Jesus.  Dawg didn’t mention Jesus, but pointed to a picture and said, “Elvis!!” and I thought that was funny.  So I thought it was neat and began to wonder who my kids could identify.  I also interviewed them.  Here’s a synopsis of the interview and the pictures I got them to look at.

I questioned Bug first, with Dawg out of the room, and then we moved the interview outside to question Dawg, and Bug was instructed not to make suggestions to him, so each kid’s answers are unbiased by his or her sibling’s answers.  I’m going to try not to type with Dawg’s speech impediment when I think it will hinder you from understanding what he’s saying.  To put this in perspective, my kids will be seven (Bug) and four (Dawg) next month.

Me: What’s your favorite thing to eat?
Bug: Ice cream, vanilla with chocolate on it.
Dawg: Trawberries and bananas and apples and bananas and chicken and turkey and grapes and chips and sammiches and that’s all.

M: What’s your favorite movie?
B: Peter Pan, Enchanted, Princess Diaries II, Cars, I like a lot of movies, I can’t name them all.
D: Transformers and Wall E.  That’s all, can I go now?

M: What’s your favorite tv show?
B: Suite Life of Zach and Cody and Hannah Montana
D: Max and Ruby

M: Favorite book?
B: Oh my gosh… books about Presidents like Ghosts of the White House and any Junie B. Jones book
D: Max and Ruby: Max Makes a Mess

M: What’s your favorite music or songs?
B: The Best of Both Worlds by Hannah Montana, Tim McGraw
D: Transformers
M: Transformers isn’t a song, Dawg, what do you like to listen to?
D: I’m tired of this.  Ugh.  Ummm…. I like Icky Thump and The Yummy Yummy song [Ohio Express’s Yummy Yummy Yummy] and the Max and Ruby song.

M: What’s your favorite thing to do?
B: Play outside
D: Draw and books

M: Where’s your favorite place to go?
B: Chuck E. Cheese and the Memphis Children’s Museum
D: The Children’s Museum

M: What do you like best about school?
B: We read a lot of books and I like P.E. and music
D: Playin and dey let me watch t.b. and we have lots of books

M: Who’s your best friend?
B: Abby and Aliah
D: Mommy
M: But who’s your best friend at school?
D: Woody
M: Dawg, Woody’s not real.  Who’s a real person who’s your best friend?
D: Samantha and Reese

M: Who’s your boyfriend or girlfriend?
B: Shadeed [a little black Muslim boy, LOL]
D: Samantha.  I mean Reese.
M: Which one?
D: Reese.  And Samantha.

M: What’s your favorite thing about Mommy?
B: I like snuggling with you.
D: Mommy lubbin me

M: What’s your favorite thing about Daddy?
B: He plays with me outside a lot.
D: Daddy lubbin me.

M: What’s your favorite thing about your brother/sister?
B: He’s cute and he’s my little brother and I like picking out his clothes and getting him dressed.
D: Nonnie lubbin me and bein my friend

M: What do you wanna be when you grow up?
B: A teacher or an artist, I haven’t decided.
D: Shakin my booty! [demonstrates]
M: [gives Dawg a look]
D: I mean Pop, I wanna be Pop [my dad]

M: What is something you hate?
B: Sleeping, I don’t like going to sleep.
D: I hate your tinky tar [car], you mell dood but your tar tinks!

M: What do you wish you were old enough to do?
B: Go on a roller coaster with you
D: Pick up garbage

M: What’s your favorite holiday?
B: Christmas and Easter, because I like getting presents and looking for eggs
D: Playin outside
M: That’s not a holiday.
D: Yes it is.

M: What do you want for your birthday?
B: I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.  I would probably want, like, my own library.  I want a lot of books.  Oh, and I need a new bike.
D: Transformers and Power Rangers.
M: You already have a lot of Transformers.
D: I don’t have all of dem, and I wanna tollect dem like Nonnie and her ‘nowglobes.

M: What is your favorite thing to say?
B: Nuke it and nuts! [?]
D: I love Mommy!

M: What is something you’re looking forward to?
B: My birthday!
D: Tryin to find some leaves.

M: What is one wish you’d make if you saw a shooting star right now?
B: I would wish Dawg was as tall as me.
M: Why?
B: I dunno.
D: I would wish for a weeter [sweeter] Nonnie. [receives ugly look from his sister]

Picture portion:

The kids correctly identified Bumblebee and Optimus Prime, Max and Ruby, and both of them knew Ronald McDonald was the “McDonald’s clown”.  Here are the ones they had a little more trouble with, and their responses:

Miley CyrusBug: Miley Cyrus
Dawg: Mommy!  Is that you?

billy_ray_cyrus_59591Bug: Miley’s dad!
Dawg: Hannah’s dad!

beatlesBug: The Beatles?
Dawg: I don’t know dem.

I don’t know.  God?  I don’t know.
Me: It’s Jesus.
Bug: Oh, well, close.
Me: Why is that close?
Bug: I don’t know.
Me: Who is Jesus?
Bug: I don’t know.
Dawg: I don’t know him, is he a firefighter?

o005-buddha-w-beads-jadeBug: It’s Buddha!
Dawg: I dunno.

barack-obamaBug: Oh that’s easy, that’s Barack Obama.
Dawg: That’s dee President of dee Unided Tates of Amerida, his name is Tim McGraw.

bill1Bug: Larry King?
Dawg: Nanny McPhee?

cooperandersonbBug: I don’t know.
Dawg: Tim McGraw

michelle-obamaBug: Mahlia and Sasha aaaaaand…. Michelle.
Dawg: I don’t know dem people.

president-george-w-bushBug: George Bush
Dawg: Tim McGraw

tim-mcgrawBug: Mmm, Tim McGraw
Dawg: I dunno, Hannah Montana’s dad?  He has hair on his body just like Daddy.

Superbowl Sunday has always been an okay day for me.  I think it’s because I remember many many years ago that Superbowl Sunday was the day I learned I could have an orgasm with a man.  You girls totally know what I’m talking about.  Like, when you started having sex, wasn’t it like you could enjoy sex, but you only got off masturbating?  I’m sure this is not just me, because I know some people it takes much much longer to be able to get off with their boyfriends/husbands.

I learned this when I was pretty young I guess, I dunno.  I don’t what age a person “should” learn things.  But ever since then, nothing can really get me down around Superbowl Sunday.  In college I remember driving back up to Louisville from Decatur to party with Jeff E. on SS and we shot tequila at his uncle’s.  Chris McMullen was there.  And no one from EC was… it was like a nice little break from EC drama and madness.  Another good SS memory.

I hate football.  And pretty much like every other televised sport.  I tried to like it, I did… but nothing about it interests me.  I go to high school games sometimes, and that’s okay because I know the kids down there playing, cheering, in the band.  It’s nice to see them enjoying normal high school things, especially when I so often have to hear about all the things that are wrong in their lives.  Nice to see something go well.

Last night.  I kept it together pretty well.  Had a great great time, and I’d say it went just about perfectly.  Tonight, Superbowl party at Rae’s.  I feel certain there are a few of us who could care less about the game, and I look forward to a little wine with yall.

I just wanted to post this saying happy Superbowl Sunday.  I’m going to take the kids on a picnic at Enid before the party.  I’m sure they’ll be excited to play with Rae’s kids and we’ll all get to visit tonight.  I wonder about the rest of you, my far-away friends, and how you’ll all be spending the day.  I hope you get to do what you want and you get to spend time with some of your favorite people.  And I hope it’s magical!

I need a pick-me-up. Last year at this time I was equally emotional, so maybe it’s just a birthday thing. I don’t know… my husband called me a name when he was half-asleep last night.  He also went through my phone like a crazy person – again – while I was in the shower and I hate that. I know that this crap has something to do with the way I feel. He came home from work a few minutes ago and apologized so I guess I should feel better, but I don’t. I just cried and told him I’ve never felt lonelier in my entire life. Then I felt crappy for confiding in him because I don’t want to even look at him right now.

And I feel crappy for confiding in you, whoever you are that reads this, because it would be nice to have someone who understands me. I don’t think that’s possible. The only one who may doesn’t have a computer and hates talking on the phone. Not that I’d even know what to say to her.

I’ve talked to a lot of friends in the past week that make me feel great – make me feel like I’m really proud to be me, because some people might have a lot of people that speak to them or say hi but I have a lot of great friends who would do anything for me, and are genuinely happy to see me. So I must not be a horrible person like I think, right? Horrible people don’t have such good friends.

Church is another thing that makes me happy. I felt like I really belonged this past week, too, and I’ve made wonderful friends there who care about me. When I’m with them, I feel like I have a lot to contribute to a discussion, and that feels good. I also feel like I have a lot to learn from the Universe, and that feels good, too – to not have everything figured out. Because if I had everything figured out at this point, I’d be pretty pessimistic about it all.

So Beth had a blog challenge a few weeks ago that I never fulfilled. She asked everyone to write a short narrative describing themselves, kind of a “Who Am I?” thing. So here’s mine, it’s going to be my pick-me-up for the day:

I’m a not-so-perfect girl. I’ve always lived in Mississippi, which I hate because it’s conservative but love because it’s hot. I hate cold weather and love the stars. I’m a Unitarian Universalist, agnostic, secular humanist. I’m spiritual and religious but definitely not a Christian. I’m a mother of two and sometimes can’t believe that. I’m an adventurer and lover of all things spontaneous and/or dangerous. I’m a liberal democrat who loves politics and sometimes gets too wrapped up in things. You may think I’m taking something too seriously, but I am very rarely serious. Remember that. Because I’m very rarely 100% serious it is sometimes hard for me to take other people seriously. I hope that’s not a problem.

I try to let Love guide my actions but I’m quick to anger and will say anything that comes into my head. I throw the word “Love” around a lot because I think people are too hesitant to use it most of the time. I love a lot of things: laughing so hard it hurts, the smell of gardenias and riding around the Refuge, navigating through traffic on the expressway, taking way too many pictures, making people smile, acting silly, taking chances, saying outrageous things, wiping Nate’s face again, acting surprised when I’m not, people-watching, writing in my journal. I love MUSIC, especially Tori Amos, or anyone who can wail on a piano. I love midtown and coffee, and coffee in midtown!

I love buying (used) books I’ll never finish, rollerball pens, reading to my kids, holding hands, singing loudly and off-key, *HUGS*, getting messy – preferably with dirt or paint or both. I love watching movies – but I hate trite Hollywood bullshit, especially romantic comedies, and prefer indie films and documentaries. I love hating things mainstream people love, like the stupid sitcom Friends (fuck off that show blows), I love saying “fuck” or any variation of that, sex and saying taboo things about it, learning and saying off-color things in different languages, road trips, the smell of marijuana, dark lagers, karaoke, dancing, eggplant and feta sandwiches, sext messages, patchwork skirts, young hot country boys, nag champa, taking long power-walks and sweating out the dirty thoughts, my dog, brushing my kids’ hair, painting Jade’s fingernails, poetry, holding either of my kids while they fall asleep, having a goatee rub my neck, being invited anywhere, and I love each of my friends intensely for their unique and beautiful qualities. … There tons of other things I love…

I don’t hate a lot. I do hate the sluggish economy, conservative people, being aggressively witnessed to, feeling avoided or ignored, and most republicans. I hate conservative boys who act like they’re hot shit when I secretly know they have a big problem pre-ejaculating. I hate their fancy cars with their fancy car insurance and I hate it when they think I care. I hate the way spoiled milk smells. I hate to vomit. I hate being called a slut or hearing someone call someone else a slut, and nothing will make me angrier. I hate it when people drive slow in the left lane and I hate it when cops are rude just because they can be. I hate pushy parents, and I really hate pageant moms, they disgust me. I hate having to work for a living but I love having money.

All in all, I’m pretty independent and very neurotic. I fluctuate between being overly confident and insecure. I can be kind of critical but I’m working on that. I’m a creatively maladjusted, divinely dissatisfied, fiery, loud-mouthed, buxom brunette with a red-head’s attitude and a teenager’s zest for life. I’ll never grow up because I refuse to, and I don’t care if I’m “that girl” at the bar. Fuck em all.

(And thanks, Beth, because this did pick me up).