Never was a Cornflake Girl…

Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

A few weeks ago I went to eat at Pap’s in Ackerman for the first time.  My kids were with me and the place was plastered with Elvis and Jesus.  Dawg didn’t mention Jesus, but pointed to a picture and said, “Elvis!!” and I thought that was funny.  So I thought it was neat and began to wonder who my kids could identify.  I also interviewed them.  Here’s a synopsis of the interview and the pictures I got them to look at.

I questioned Bug first, with Dawg out of the room, and then we moved the interview outside to question Dawg, and Bug was instructed not to make suggestions to him, so each kid’s answers are unbiased by his or her sibling’s answers.  I’m going to try not to type with Dawg’s speech impediment when I think it will hinder you from understanding what he’s saying.  To put this in perspective, my kids will be seven (Bug) and four (Dawg) next month.

Me: What’s your favorite thing to eat?
Bug: Ice cream, vanilla with chocolate on it.
Dawg: Trawberries and bananas and apples and bananas and chicken and turkey and grapes and chips and sammiches and that’s all.

M: What’s your favorite movie?
B: Peter Pan, Enchanted, Princess Diaries II, Cars, I like a lot of movies, I can’t name them all.
D: Transformers and Wall E.  That’s all, can I go now?

M: What’s your favorite tv show?
B: Suite Life of Zach and Cody and Hannah Montana
D: Max and Ruby

M: Favorite book?
B: Oh my gosh… books about Presidents like Ghosts of the White House and any Junie B. Jones book
D: Max and Ruby: Max Makes a Mess

M: What’s your favorite music or songs?
B: The Best of Both Worlds by Hannah Montana, Tim McGraw
D: Transformers
M: Transformers isn’t a song, Dawg, what do you like to listen to?
D: I’m tired of this.  Ugh.  Ummm…. I like Icky Thump and The Yummy Yummy song [Ohio Express’s Yummy Yummy Yummy] and the Max and Ruby song.

M: What’s your favorite thing to do?
B: Play outside
D: Draw and books

M: Where’s your favorite place to go?
B: Chuck E. Cheese and the Memphis Children’s Museum
D: The Children’s Museum

M: What do you like best about school?
B: We read a lot of books and I like P.E. and music
D: Playin and dey let me watch t.b. and we have lots of books

M: Who’s your best friend?
B: Abby and Aliah
D: Mommy
M: But who’s your best friend at school?
D: Woody
M: Dawg, Woody’s not real.  Who’s a real person who’s your best friend?
D: Samantha and Reese

M: Who’s your boyfriend or girlfriend?
B: Shadeed [a little black Muslim boy, LOL]
D: Samantha.  I mean Reese.
M: Which one?
D: Reese.  And Samantha.

M: What’s your favorite thing about Mommy?
B: I like snuggling with you.
D: Mommy lubbin me

M: What’s your favorite thing about Daddy?
B: He plays with me outside a lot.
D: Daddy lubbin me.

M: What’s your favorite thing about your brother/sister?
B: He’s cute and he’s my little brother and I like picking out his clothes and getting him dressed.
D: Nonnie lubbin me and bein my friend

M: What do you wanna be when you grow up?
B: A teacher or an artist, I haven’t decided.
D: Shakin my booty! [demonstrates]
M: [gives Dawg a look]
D: I mean Pop, I wanna be Pop [my dad]

M: What is something you hate?
B: Sleeping, I don’t like going to sleep.
D: I hate your tinky tar [car], you mell dood but your tar tinks!

M: What do you wish you were old enough to do?
B: Go on a roller coaster with you
D: Pick up garbage

M: What’s your favorite holiday?
B: Christmas and Easter, because I like getting presents and looking for eggs
D: Playin outside
M: That’s not a holiday.
D: Yes it is.

M: What do you want for your birthday?
B: I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.  I would probably want, like, my own library.  I want a lot of books.  Oh, and I need a new bike.
D: Transformers and Power Rangers.
M: You already have a lot of Transformers.
D: I don’t have all of dem, and I wanna tollect dem like Nonnie and her ‘nowglobes.

M: What is your favorite thing to say?
B: Nuke it and nuts! [?]
D: I love Mommy!

M: What is something you’re looking forward to?
B: My birthday!
D: Tryin to find some leaves.

M: What is one wish you’d make if you saw a shooting star right now?
B: I would wish Dawg was as tall as me.
M: Why?
B: I dunno.
D: I would wish for a weeter [sweeter] Nonnie. [receives ugly look from his sister]

Picture portion:

The kids correctly identified Bumblebee and Optimus Prime, Max and Ruby, and both of them knew Ronald McDonald was the “McDonald’s clown”.  Here are the ones they had a little more trouble with, and their responses:

Miley CyrusBug: Miley Cyrus
Dawg: Mommy!  Is that you?

billy_ray_cyrus_59591Bug: Miley’s dad!
Dawg: Hannah’s dad!

beatlesBug: The Beatles?
Dawg: I don’t know dem.

jesus1
Bug:
I don’t know.  God?  I don’t know.
Me: It’s Jesus.
Bug: Oh, well, close.
Me: Why is that close?
Bug: I don’t know.
Me: Who is Jesus?
Bug: I don’t know.
Dawg: I don’t know him, is he a firefighter?

o005-buddha-w-beads-jadeBug: It’s Buddha!
Dawg: I dunno.

barack-obamaBug: Oh that’s easy, that’s Barack Obama.
Dawg: That’s dee President of dee Unided Tates of Amerida, his name is Tim McGraw.

bill1Bug: Larry King?
Dawg: Nanny McPhee?

cooperandersonbBug: I don’t know.
Dawg: Tim McGraw

michelle-obamaBug: Mahlia and Sasha aaaaaand…. Michelle.
Dawg: I don’t know dem people.

president-george-w-bushBug: George Bush
Dawg: Tim McGraw

tim-mcgrawBug: Mmm, Tim McGraw
Dawg: I dunno, Hannah Montana’s dad?  He has hair on his body just like Daddy.

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Well yesterday and today have sucked on many levels.  The National Guard decided to fake some sort of hostage situation in the building yesterday and I had to maneuver through police, military personnel, and the Red Cross to get to work.  Obviously I was late.  Then I had to listen to their “concussion bombs” and whatnot all morning, all the while fielding phone calls about what was going on and registering new students.

Today I had my rudest parent.  Compared to this time last year this lady was a pleasure to deal with, but it’s really not the best time of the month to be copping an attitude with me, if you catch my drift.  She was just a jackass and wound up asking for the number to the school board, which I was more than pleased to give her, but it generally pisses me off when people act all hoity toidy, like they’re going over your head to get you in trouble.  Go for it, call county, let them tell you the same damn thing I did, Miss Wait-Until-The-Very-Last-Minute-To-Enroll-Your-Children-In-School.

On a personal note, Jeremy’s debit card information was stolen so someone in Portugal was really racking up until we went overdraft and the party was over.  Now I have all those charges to dispute.

But okay, you didn’t click the link to my blog to listen to me bitch and moan, did you?  You probably wanted to hear the good news!  If you are a parent, this is valuable information that you likely did not know until now.  I didn’t.

For years, I have thought I had to vaccinate my children in order to enroll them in public school.  Both my kids are up-to-date and managed to receive their vaccines without any dire consequences, but I know people who were not so lucky.  I know the government has finally acknowledged the link between vaccines and autism, but they say that even with the skyrocketing rate of autism the benefits of the vaccines are worth the risk.

I say tell that to the mother whose sweet angelic little boy will no longer hug her or look her in the eye.  The mother who will never hear her daughter say, “I love you, Mommy.”  I’m sorry, but these things are priceless to me.  My eyes are brimming with tears now at the mere thought of my precious little boy never wrapping his arms around my neck again.

Nate lacks one more shot before he starts kindergarten.  And now, knowing what I know, he will never receive it, or any other vaccine.  Not for the measles, not for polio, not for the freaking flu.  What the government doesn’t tell you is that the flu vaccine will increase your chance for developing alzheimers later in life – by a lot.  That the polio vaccine, in its experimental phases in Kenya, likely started the HIV virus.  That vaccinating your child will not only increase their chances of being autistic, but can also cause paralysis, hepatitis, post-vaccinal encephalitis, blindness, kidney disease, or even death.

So you can trust the vaccines and take your chances, but you do have a choice!

Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to vaccinate your child for public school.  Today a parent presented me, not with a shot record, but with a different form entirely.  The paper she handed me was an affidavit declaring her son expempt from vaccinations because they conflicted with her personal beliefs.

Apparently this is a FEDERAL law, and no state can refuse to accept this form in lieu of a shot record.  Senate Bill #942, Section 1, Chapter 7 states, in part, “Immunizations of a person shall not be required for admission to a school or other institution… If the guardian, parent, or adult who has assumed responsibility for his or her custody and care in the case of a minor, or the person seeking admission, files with the governing authority [i.e., get it notorized], a letter or affidavit stating that such vaccination is contrary to his/her beliefs…”

So you want a copy of the affidavit for your personal use?  CLICK HERE AND GO FOR IT!! And congratulations to your for making the decision to protect your child from the harmful side effects of vaccines.