Never was a Cornflake Girl…

Posts Tagged ‘sleep

I had the strangest dream last night.  It was so surreal and so striking.  As far as dreams go, I can usually categorize them: nightmare, sexual, prophetic, stuff-from-the-day, etc.  This one isn’t as easily defined; it doesn’t fit into a certain genre.

It was colorful, that was the first thing that struck me about it.  There was a red-headed gypsy woman I felt so drawn to, and I found myself doing things in the dream that would cause me to get closer to her.  The closer I would get, however, the more apprehensive and shy I felt.

Then she noticed me.  My heart leaped into my throat in the same way it did when I was 15 and the boy I was so in love with would lock eyes with me across the patio at school.  I stumbled over my words as I fumbled an excuse to her, “I w-was wondering if you maybe had a tarot book for sale… I-I have one b-but it is kind of simple and though it’s perfect for a basic Rider Waite deck, I was hoping to kinda branch out you know…”  I expected her to smile and politely respond but she said “You’ve been here,” and as I responded, “No, I should have come here first but I-” she cut me off and grabbed my wrists.  Holding them tightly, she stared me in the eyes and said, forcefully, “No, Brandi, don’t you see?  You’ve been here already!!  Don’t you remember??”  And oh my god, her eyes were like nothing I’ve ever seen before.  They were the color of amber and appeared as hot as liquid fire, swirling around the deepest darkest pupils I’ve ever seen.  I was not just terrified but in awe, and I gasped as I was startled awake.

Now I’ve been through dream analysis.  I know what I have to do if I want to know what all of this means.  I honestly think that should be my top priority tonight, to work through this dream.  As powerful as it was, there is obviously a message I need to get from it.  But I just can’t right now.

I’m scared to know what I need to know.  Does that make sense?  I’m scared it will hurt too much.  I think the only reason I’m having powerful dreams such as this is because lately I’ve experienced some powerful emotions and I’m stuffing them.  I’m downright ignoring the shit out of everything I feel because everything I feel is a lie and it’s distorted and it’s fucking me up.  So of course I’m going to have powerful dreams, right?  Is it wrong to wait until I feel better to start analyzing them?